Why I Am Not Writing

As a writer I constantly read the advice that a writer should be a voracious reader, well I’ve got that down pat. The problem is I am spending all my time reading and not writing. Now how can I possibly become a good writer if I am not writing?

I go to my weekly writers guild meetings, read lots of books on the craft of writing and read novels by my favorite authors, boy aren’t I good. NOT.

Unless I sit myself in my chair and put fingers to keyboard or mechanical pencil (my favorite non-computer writing tool) to paper I am not a writer. DUH.

So, if I say I am a writer then I must write.

I sat myself down today with a couple of writing prompts and wrote away. What I wrote was entertaining for me and showed me that my mind can still go to those strange places that writer’s minds go. I enjoyed myself too.

I am happiest when I am writing because that is what God has called me to do. So I asked myself, before I took off with those writer’s prompts, why I was hesitating to write. I also asked God if I should attend the Writer’s Workshop that will be held at Glen Eyrie beginning June 6th. The atmosphere of this workshop is small and intimate with writing time included. I have hesitated because I didn’t want to hear from the presenters that I should find something else to do with my time, you know, “step away from the computer do not put your hands to the keyboard.”

The answer I received from God was not very comforting but truth telling. I love that He loves me so much that He is straight with me.

I doubt that you have this issue but for me it is PRIDE. See, if I go to the conference I will receive criticism in front of all these great authors. I want everyone to love me and everything about me including my writing. I want to hang onto my dignity.

As I clutched my chest and pulled the dagger out of my heart I saw that if I choose to go to the conference as one who knows nothing, but is willing to have a teachable heart, I can learn to become the writer that God wants me to become. Simple change of mind and the answer to whether I should go is simple, of course I should. God has gifted me for this and I must receive and use the gift.

James 1:17 in the Message Bible says: Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. THE GIFTS ARE RIVERS OF LIGHT CASCADING DOWN FROM THE FATHER OF LIGHT.

Rivers of light cascading down, those are the kinds of words that I want to put on paper or computer screen.

So, I will stop reading a novel every two days and throw myself into my passion for writing and leave the results to God. Smile.

BELIEVE

I’m sitting in my office comfy chair, as opposed to my desk chair, and in the mirror on the wall I see the reflection of a gift from a dear friend. It is a decorative stand with an encouraging word attached, that word is Believe. It is my reminder that whatever I have need of, the first step in receiving is believing.

I smile when I look at that sign. It is an answer from God when I have a question.

“God, will spring come to Colorado Springs?”
God: “Believe.”

“God, will I ever be a published author?”
God: “Believe.”

“God, can our nation get back to its firm roots?”
God, “Believe.”

Sometimes it is easy to believe, but in the deep, painful places it is hard. When the believing stretches on for twenty plus years and I ask, “When God?”

His answer is still, “Believe.”