no backward motion,
a standing still.
It can be okay, less stress,
but there is curiosity about why.
It is not a happy place
or a sad place,
only a place.
You want to move forward
but where you put your foot,
the next step,
is not there…yet.
So you wait and wonder.
When the hints start arriving
the magnitude of the motion that begins is unknown.
How fast, how far?
Faster and farther than you imagined,
or wanted to go,
but the momentum has begun
and there is no stopping it
because God is the one propelling you.
You put on the brakes
because the destination is frightening,
but you are leaving parts of you behind...
so you allow the force to carry you,
swallowing your fear
trusting God will take you
to your destination unharmed
and He will be there when you arrive.
I have been in a stall for months,
not a self-imposed stall
but a God-imposed stall.
It is over now
and I am roaring towards God’s radical destination for my life.
Extreme obedience is what is being required of me.
And I say yes
to God’s gentle command
for He did not hesitate
to send His Son Jesus to deliver me
from the destruction which would have been my end.
giving his life,
has now become my cross,
giving my life for another.
Not the shedding blood kind of giving of my life
but laying down
what is precious to me.
Leaving behind my
husband,
children,
grandchildren,
friends,
writing group
and my church
and packing up for a move to Illinois
to become a twenty-four-hour in-home caregiver for my mother.
The woman who cared for me has a need.
As my mother was celebrating her 91st birthday in February
I did not know an insidious disease
No, it’s not cancer,
but another dreaded name:
Alzheimer’s.
As I’m studying about this affliction,
and making my packing list,
the tears linger.
Tears for what I am leaving behind
and tears for what I am going towards.
At times my heart seems to stutter,
I breathe deep and declare,
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Such a conflicting time,
Yet the peace of God is present.
I have no time frame
of my return to my home in Colorado.
God has that information and He is not saying.
Obedience is what He requires.
He has said, "go."
So I shall go.
I’ve not been this way before
and He will not take me to a place
He has not already been
and isn’t already there.
My thoughts, says the Lord,are not like yours, and my ways are different from yours. As high as the heavens are above the earth, so high are my ways and thoughts above yours. Isaiah 55:8-9 GNT.
I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. Jeremiah 29:11
Are you in a Stall or does God have you racing to a new destination?
