You Thought it was a STALL

Life has its stalls;

           no forward motion,
no backward motion,
           a standing still.
It can be okay, less stress,
but there is curiosity about why.
It is not a happy place
or a sad place,
           only a place.

You want to move forward
but where you put your foot,
           the next step,
is not there…yet.

So you wait and wonder.


When the hints start arriving
the magnitude of the motion that begins is unknown.

How fast, how far?


Faster and farther than you imagined,
or wanted to go,

but the momentum has begun
and there is no stopping it
because God is the one propelling you.

You put on the brakes
because the destination is frightening,
but you are leaving parts of you behind...

so you allow the force to carry you,
swallowing your fear

trusting God will take you
to your destination unharmed
and He will be there when you arrive.


I have been in a stall for months,
not a self-imposed stall

but a God-imposed stall.

It is over now
and I am roaring towards God’s radical destination for my life.

Extreme obedience is what is being required of me.

And I say yes

to God’s gentle command
for He did not hesitate
to send His Son Jesus to deliver me
from the destruction which would have been my end.

His cross,

giving his life,

has now become my cross,

giving my life for another.

Not the shedding blood kind of giving of my life

but laying down
what is precious to me.

Leaving behind my
husband,
children,
grandchildren,
friends,
writing group
and my church

and packing up for a move to Illinois

to become a twenty-four-hour in-home caregiver for my mother.

The woman who cared for me has a need.


As my mother was celebrating her 91st birthday in February
I did not know an insidious disease

was beginning to make its presence known.

No, it’s not cancer,

but another dreaded name:

Alzheimer’s.

As I’m studying about this affliction,
and making my packing list,

the tears linger.

Tears for what I am leaving behind

and tears for what I am going towards.



At times my heart seems to stutter,

I breathe deep and declare,
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”



Such a conflicting time,

Yet the peace of God is present.


I have no time frame
of my return to my home in Colorado.

God has that information and He is not saying.


Obedience is what He requires.

He has said, "go."

So I shall go.

I’ve not been this way before

but God knows the path

and He will not take me to a place
He has not already been
and isn’t already there.

My thoughts, says the Lord,are not like yours, and my ways are different from yours. As high as the heavens are above the earth, so high are my ways and thoughts above yours. Isaiah 55:8-9 GNT.

I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. Jeremiah 29:11

Are you in a Stall or does God have you racing to a new destination?

Seeking Him

Day 38 of 40 days of Lenten Posts

We are getting close to the time we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord Jesus.

It is a time of sorrow, His death on a cross, and a time of joy, the empty tomb.

May we seek Him more and more.


The More I Seek You by Kari Jobe

In the Tomb

Saturday: darkness, hopelessness, sorrow.
Jesus’ body occupied the tomb of Joseph of Arimathea. His disciples were devastated. They did not understand what he had been trying to tell them, it would not be a permanent death.

Holy one,
Humble one,
Loving one,
Merciful one

Wounded for my transgressions
Bruised for my guilt
Bearing my iniquities
That I might be free

Death on a cross
Buried in a carved out tomb
Three days of despair
In exchange for eternity
Diane Shaw 2009

Tomorrow we sing.

CONTENT

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. Phil 4:11-12 NIV


Do you think Jesus was content in the circumstances he found himself in, hanging on a cross?

Jesus knew his purpose and He was content to fulfill it even through the pain of the scourging and crucifixion.
"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." Luke 22:42 NIV He didn’t take any short cuts.

He was focused for our sakes. The Father’s love for us is beyond our comprehension.

My Pastor has three wonderful sons and he has often said that there is no way he could sacrifice any of his sons for any of us, even though he loves his congregation. His love for his sons is so great that he would do anything to preserve their lives, not give them in sacrifice.

If there had been another way to redeem mankind from the separation caused in the garden, God would surely be the one to know how it could happen. There was no other way but the way of the cross for Jesus.

God is pleased with us when we have the same unwavering focus to go the direction He is leading us. I wish I could say that I am one who is quick to obey when He calls. Sometimes I am, but other times I dig in my heels and argue with God. Right now I am struggling to be content with something I think God is asking me to do. It will take my time, energy and commitment. When I make a commitment I give it 100%, so there would be no turning back. I am not out to impress anyone with what I can do. I refuse to say yes to God until I can say it from the depths of my heart, He knows the truth anyway.

I am thankful that Jesus did not argue with His Father or hesitate. He gave it his all.