The Note

“Daughter, you don’t understand my love, you think it has to do with what you do and don’t do. That is not it, you just don’t get it.

What do I have to do to show you my love, wasn’t giving my son on the cross enough. Wasn’t a crown of thorns on his head enough, wasn’t a cross enough.

What would be enough to show you how much I love you? I can’t do anymore, you receive it, believe it. I can’t do more, I have done it all.

It grieves me when you don’t believe me, I weep for you to understand. I will never leave you or forsake you, but you leave and forsake me.

You go around with thoughts running through your mind that you are not good enough, that you have nothing to offer, that you are not real, that you are fake and if anyone knew the real you they would not like you.

You go around trying to get everyone to like you, they already love you. You don’t know how many people love you including your husband. You touch hearts for me. I have put love in you and you know how to love but you don’t know how to receive love.

Lay your head in my lap and let me heal the hurts, some are ones you have inflicted on yourself because you don’t believe me. I want to heal them all to make you whole, nothing missing, nothing broken.

You are broken right now, there is pain in you right now, I did not put it there, you have it because you receive it, you put it there yourself because you refuse to just be who I created you to be.

You are a wonder. Right now you are refusing to receive it, you don’t feel worthy, you reject my gift to you. Just receive it.

Open your heart, it won’t burst, stop or bleed to death. Jesus already took the sword to his heart, so yours could be whole, healed and bursting with love, not condemnation. Never condemnation. If that is there it is not from me.

I convict where I see sin but I never condemn. You do that to yourself, you think less of yourself than I do. I see a…yes you must type it…I see a beautiful, holy, gracious, loving creation made in my image to do good, good, good works for me. You are able; you are created for me, for me. Not your husband, not the world but for me.

You and I have a pact, you come to me and I speak to you like I am doing right now. We are one, I in you, you in me. Feel it, you are whole, wholly mine, forever mine. Don’t leave me again.

I have work for you to do. I will, I will use you to write for my kingdom, for my glory. Hear my voice, listen to my spirit. I will give you the words, the ones that will impact and change lives.

Don’t worry, don’t work so hard, it will come and it will come easy. It will not be like others because I have declared that I need what you will do. I know that you are a vessel that I can trust. Your heart is pure and holy I can use you.

Go now. I love you.

Daddy”

 

I journal and God speaks back to me and I write what He speaks. This was from a journal entry of September 21, 2009.

As I read this today I was touched by God’s love but also pricked because He could write this same letter to me today because nothing has changed in me. Sad isn’t it. It is time for me to take up God’s image of me. He made it very clear how he sees me it is time for me to see myself this way too.

Reread this note from God, could He have written it to you?

Do you have a Godly image of yourself or have you allowed your image to be distorted by the world, your past and your doubts?

 

 

Two Inches Tall and Growing

I haven’t blogged in a long time, depression probably was the main culprit that kept my fingers still. I guess caring for my mother 24/7 could have contributed to my lack of productivity too. The Alzheimer’s that slowly destroyed my mother’s brain took her life on September 19^th.

I’ve been back home in Colorado for four and a half weeks, those weeks have been filled with grief but not just for the loss of my mother. Disappointments that have plagued me for years and years are being faced for what they are and I’m making choices. I can allow my life to be stagnant…just continue on the path that has become a rut or I can step onto fresh ground, ground that God has staked with signposts saying, “come this way.”

One of my Christmas gifts from my daughter-in-law is the book, Start by Jon Acuff. I’ve only begun reading it but already my spirit is happy. Jon tells about the five stages that will take you from Average to Awesome. They are: Learning (happens in your 20’s), Editing (your 30’s), Mastering (your 40’s), Harvesting (your 50’s), and Guiding (your 60’s and up).

According to this I should be guiding but since I’ve not put all my energies into the path I should be on I’m starting at the beginning…Learning. So even though I am in my 60’s by the calendar, because I am beginning a new course I’m back in my 20’s. Woo Who, I like that!

I’m looking to discover who I am as God sees me. I’ve learned my self-perception has been viewed through filters that are not true. I’ve pressed down so much of myself that I feel about two inches tall. Discovering that all that is wrong in my life is not all my fault has been freeing.

I’ve got a lot of work to do to unlock the prison I have put myself in from wrong beliefs but at least now I know I can have a different life. A life more pleasing to my Lord Jesus.

Writing is my path and I jump on and off it not taking it seriously as my call from God. I want that to change and the gift from my daughter-in-law is a nudge from God telling me to “Start.”

Looking at my “writing bookshelves” I searched for a book that would encourage me to begin writing again. I picked out Behind the Stories – Christian novelists Reveal the Heart in the Art of Their Writing, complied by Diane Eble. As I’m reading the stories of some of my favorite Christian authors and their ups and downs on their path to writing for God I want to put the book down and pick up my pencil.

This morning I opened my emails and at the top was a blog post from writer Jeff Goins putting out a challenge to writers to commit to writing 500 words for thirty-one days.

Okay God. I hear you, I know it’s time to get serious. There is work to be done.

I may stumble and fall back into my rut but I have a daughter-in-law who believes in me and a God who won’t give up on me.

 

If you’d like to take Jeff Goins challenge you can find the information on his blog page.

http://goinswriter.com/

 

 

 

Enough or Not Enough

When is enough, enough…or not enough?

 
When I sit reading emails, blogs and Facebook guilt creeps in with statements like, “You should be doing something productive.”

Cleaning the kitchen, getting dinner in the crock pot, doing laundry and straightening up is not enough? Of course not, because there is always something else that shouts,

“This is more important. You should start cleaning out cluttered drawers and closets; you have way too much stuff.”

So if I cleaned out two drawers and a closet today, would that be enough? Of course not because I have a dozen other drawers I haven’t touched and there are nine more closets that need attention.

Should I feel guilt about being on social media or curling up in a chair reading? Not when my calling is to write and those social media sites belong to authors I follow and posts by fellow writers sharing their journey.

 

No one criticizes me for not having clean closets…except me. Is it because I don’t take this writing life as seriously as I should?

 

If I were working outside my home I would be giving eight hours to that profession; in the remaining hours of my day I would be cooking, cleaning and doing laundry. Why is it so difficult to allow myself the time to feed my mind with writing tips, do’s and don’ts and words of encouragement about this writing life?

 

Could it be that since I am not currently working on a novel I do not consider myself a writer?

 

Am I the only writer who torturers’ herself this way?



NASCAR NaNo

 

I’m at the starting line, revving my creative engine, ready to release the brake, hit the gas and take off.

I have one roadblock,

 I don’t know where I'm going.

            I have 2 ½ days to think up characters, and a plot.

            Something has to develop, I don’t want to look like this on November 30th.

 

 

 

If you are participating in NaNoWriMo do you have your story sketched out?

 

 

Reflections on National Novel Writing Month

Yesterday, November 30, NaNoWriMo wrapped up for another year. I again joined the almost 300,000 people from all over this globe, setting aside life for thirty days to challenge mind, body and spirit to a task that sounds doable at the beginning of the month. A task that takes guts, especially if you broadcast to family, friends and co-workers that you have jumped into the pool.

I hugely admire those who have full time jobs, children, marriages, volunteer jobs, and/or health issues. How have they accomplished this monumental task: by stealing hours from sleep, using lunch hours, writing while the kids are at their sporting events, dictating into a recorder while driving. I’m sure this list could be pages long, they used whatever moment they could because they had something to prove to others, maybe to themselves or perhaps there was a story in their heart that had to be put on paper. The reasons for writing a 50,000 word novel are as varied as the individuals doing the writing.

I became a NaNo winner for the fourth year in a row.

I now have four partially finished novels, one with a word count of over 83,000 words. What I have learned and how my writing has grown is the prize I focus on in this moment.

Philippians 3:12-14 in the Message translation says it so wonderfully.
I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.

After this, my fourth NaNo, I will say:

• I am well on my way.
• I do not count myself an expert in all of this
• I’ve got my eye on the goal
• I’m off and running
• I’m not turning back

Not a bad vision to have in front of me as I set my goal to finish the novel I am presently working on. I don’t have a title for it but I do have the chapter titles, they are taken from Ecclesiastes 3.

There is a time for everything, and everything on earth has its special season.
There is a time to be born
and a time to die.
There is a time to plant
and a time to pull up plants.
There is a time to kill
and a time to heal.
There is a time to destroy
and a time to build.
There is a time to cry
and a time to laugh.
There is a time to be sad
and a time to dance.
There is a time to throw away stones
and a time to gather them.
There is a time to hug
and a time not to hug.
There is a time to look for something
and a time to stop looking for it.
There is a time to keep things
and a time to throw things away.
There is a time to tear apart
and a time to sew together.
There is a time to be silent
and a time to speak.
There is a time to love
and a time to hate.
There is a time for war
and a time for peace.

So with the month of November behind me but much writing ahead how am I feeling today? Tired, discouraged, frantic, disappointed. Most of all fearful that I will once again end up with a partially finished novel; I count that as failure. I know that some novels don’t deserve to be finished, however, unless I am able to write The End, even to a lousy, stinking piece of garbage how will I know that I can do this. God has called and whom He calls, He equips, so it is not God’s failure but mine if I don’t press through. He gives me an answer.

Ecclesiastes 3:9-13 Contemporary English Version

What do we gain by all our hard work? I have seen what difficult things God demands of us. God makes everything happen at the right time. Yet none of us can ever fully understand all he has done, and he puts questions in our minds about the past and the future. I know the best thing we can do is to always enjoy life, because God’s gift to us is the happiness we get from our food and drink and from the work we do.

He doesn’t promise it will be easy. Contentment waits for me at The End.

Now with Christmas twenty-five days away my focus shifts to the holidays, decorating the house, sending cards, cooking, shopping, wrapping, cleaning, family time.

Today I feel sad, tomorrow may be a day of dance.

I Have an Addiction

I’m on a high, writing, learning craft, writing, learning craft. Going to writing workshops, seminars, writer’s guild meetings, fellowship with other writers. I love this lifestyle. Runners get a high from running, when a writer is writing the adrenaline flowing can be addictive, a good addictive.

I challenged myself in my last blog to set a goal for my writing. I haven’t gotten as far as I would like but I am working at it. Taking a huge step in the right direction.

Today, like many of the wonderful summer days we are experiencing, I am sitting on my deck working on my craft.

This is what things typically look like:

notebook, mechanical pencil (my favorite writing instrument, I have them all over the house. Sam’s Club sells them in bulk),

cup of tea,

writing books,

 reading glasses (does anyone else need these?),

my camera

and my Netbook or my laptop spread out on the table. The umbrella on the table is up to block out the scorching sun or I couldn’t sit out here.

My companion Sammy remains close by.

Occasionally I have to stop to take a picture of the wildlife around me.
Two precious fawns grabbed my attention.

Like many writer’s I struggle with not trusting my writing. If it all depended on me I should be worried but God says write and He will provide the inspiration to make it into something worthwhile. My job is to show up daily and see what He drops into my spirit for that day. It may be to add to my story, maybe to write a blog or perhaps I need to read one of my many
books on the craft of writing.

It is all a part of this business called writing, and I LOVE IT.

“When I am writing I am doing the thing I was meant to do.” Anne Sexton

What Will it Take...

This weekend my daughter Coleen completed the Western States 100 mile Endurance Run.

Coleen Voeks crossing the finish line and receiving her finisher's medal.

This race began at 5am on Saturday and the runners must have completed it in under thirty hours. This involves running up and down mountains, through snow and heat, through the day and night. This is not her first 100 miler but an important one to her. Her father completed this race in 1984. Coleen finished in 28 hours and 46 minutes.

Coleen, 11 years-old, at Western States with her dad when he had completed the race in 1984.



As I thought about her accomplishment I began to think about the goals she had to set, the preparation and discipline it took to complete this race. The principles can apply to any goal.

Coleen’s accomplishment inspired me to set goals to finish my first novel, (sadly I have three particial novels), and have the finished novel ready to present to agents and publishers at the ACFW conference in 2013.

Getting a novel written and ready to be seen by agents, and publishers, is not a sprint but a long distance endurance run so, I think, I hope, I have set a reasonable goal. That gives me twenty-six months. I have begun my calendar of check-points to reaching my goal. Those who have finished a novel and presented it to agents please let me know if I need to allow myself more time.

Who am I going to surround myself with to help me reach this lofty place? Other writer’s of course. My daughter has her group of running friends; some went with her to California and paced her through the last part of the race. That is the kind of friends I need. Those who won’t let me quit and won’t let me put in any performance but my best.

I’ve been involved in a wonderful writer's group for three years and have attended two excellent writer’s conferences; my bookshelves are loaded with books on the craft of writing. I have the tools, now I need to apply them as I let my fingers fly across my keyboard. I hope there will be more "fingers flying" than "head banging."

Along this road to my dream, another goal I have set is to lose weight and get physically strong. I turn sixty-five on Thursday and I don’t want to look, or act, like a person of age. I am young at heart and my body needs to be able to keep up with where I want to take it.

It is time that I seriously begin the journey God has called me to, it is one I will be on for the rest of my life.

This is the prize Coleen received for finishing her race. A large belt buckle.

My Prize? A published novel.

What goal have you been pushing back, thinking, I’ll start tomorrow? The clock is ticking. What hints can you give to others for accomplishing the thing that won't let go of them?

Keep At It

Day 35 of 40 days of Lenten Posts

A few words of wisdom about writing.


“Don’t buy the myth that writing is easy.
It’s not. I heard one author say, ‘Writing is like giving birth to barbed wire.’ Others say writing is 5 percent inspiration and 95 percent perspiration. Many books that are hard to write are easy to read. Books that were easy to write are invariably hard to read. Some writers seem so natural, so effortless. Don’t be fooled. It takes a lot of effort to appear effortless. With everything else competing for your reader’s attention, you must work to earn it. Many people say they want to write a book, but what they really want is to have written a book. Big difference!” Randy Alcorn

“Write. Remember, people may keep you (or me) from being a published author but no one can stop you from being a writer. All you have to do is write. And keep writing. While you’re working at a career, while you’re raising children, while you’re trout fishing—keep writing! No one can stop you but you.” Katherine Neville

And the Lord said to me, "Write my answer on a billboard, large and clear, so that anyone can read it at a glance and rush to tell the others." Habakkuk 2:2

 

Writing, Writing, Writing

Day 33 of 40 days of Lenten Posts

I have been posting daily on my blog since March 9th. It has not always been easy to come up with a topic but the challenge has been fun. I have limited myself somewhat to doing posts which include a picture or pictures I have taken. Sometimes I go through my pictures three times before I come up with a topic. If I think of a topic but don’t have pictures to go with it I will go about my house seeing if I can stage a shot or two. I need to get some pictures off my husband’s computer, and then I will have more options.


While doing all these posts and keeping my regular schedule my mind has been massaging my WIP. This is the novel I started in November for NaNoWriMo. Several weeks ago God prompted me to make a major shift in it. Today He gave me more changes.

He even gave me a working title: Whitewashed.

(If you are not a writer I am going to give you a peek into how the mind of a writer works. I came up with the title when the sound of a buzzer woke me from a nap. I came out of that sleep thinking, oh, that is the buzzer on the dryer, my load of white wash is done. I sat up and wrote in my notebook, which I always keep handy, “Whitewashed.” I then went looking for definitions and they fit perfectly with the story. Weird huh, that’s how we think.)

I also have a picture in my mind for the cover. I know that writers don’t get to choose their own cover but what I see in my mind is perfect for keeping me on point with the story.

I’m excited to see what story God wants written. After all it is His story.

“This is what the Lord God of Israel says: Write in a book everything that I tell you.”

God’s Word Translation

My Fingers Keep Slipping Off the Keyboard

Day 27 of 40 days of Lenten Posts
“I’m a writer. I don’t cook and I don’t clean.” Dorothy West

Oh if only we could get away with this. I put off the cleaning for as long as I can.

The cooking unfortunately happens every night. My husband is tolerant, very tolerant but putting dinner on the table is not optional.

I enjoy cooking and baking but I begrudge the time it takes to do it. I can spend most of an hour planning, chopping and cooking my meal and in five minutes it is eaten.

I then spend the next ten minutes cleaning up the dishes and putting away the leftovers. Somehow that seems out of proportion.

Shouldn’t there be a lingering time of enjoyment, an inhaling of the aroma of the meat and the sauce that covers it? Shouldn’t we hold the food on our tongue allowing our taste buds to experience each individual ingredient and flavoring we have so carefully chosen?

Eating should be an occasion, everyday.
I look for menus that are quick to prepare but my husband would like variety.

I don’t think he would accept the statement: “But honey, God fed the Israelites Manna for forty years.”

When I get to heaven I’m going to ask God if I can have a taste of Manna. It sounded pretty good.

The people of Israel called the bread manna. It was white like coriander seed and tasted like wafers made with honey. Exodus 16:31 NIV

I’m hiring a housekeeper and a cook as soon as I sell the first 50,000 copies of my novel, the one I haven’t finished writing. I wouldn’t have to stop reading and writing for anything, except to put food, prepared by my chef into my mouth.

Why is my keyboard greasy?

SUMMER RECAP

Summertime is over and it was a hot one in Colorado Springs. We have enjoyed some spells of rain with beautiful thunder. I love to feel enveloped by it when it rolls on and on.
In June I attended the Glen Eyrie Writer’s Workshop and it was fabulous. If you are looking at conferences for next year I recommend this one. I had such a great time with the featured writers/speakers, Angela Hunt, James Scott Bell, Nancy Rue, and Kathy Mackel. We laughed and learned. The location is beautiful, lots of places to walk, hike and spend peaceful time with God. It doesn’t get much better. The picture is of the members of Words For The Journey Writer's Guild with author James Scott Bell.

In July my husband and I headed to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida for a family reunion with his brothers, his sister and their families. We had fun, his family knows how to have a good time. I did learn a very important lesson: Don’t go to Florida in July, can you say hot and humid, record breaking temperatures.
Family picture without all the kids.

July 28th our writer’s group Words For The Journey had a write-in at the Broadmoor, lots of ladies came and the click, click of computers could be heard all day.

August has been a hot month in Colorado Springs. I have spent the month reading and playing with my granddaughter. Did I mention that I will be a grandmother again in November, another girl is expected. Yeah!

This last week of August has been an unpleasant one for me, I picked up a bug and spent a whole week in my house. I am still recouping from the cough and I need to recoup fast, because I have a busy week ahead.

Monday I will be getting my hair done, it is time for a trim and color. I wonder how gray I am? Not ready to find out yet so, touch up here I come. I would like to try a new style but I have no idea what look I would want. Ugh, hair issues, you love them and hate them at the same time. I’ll also be spending time with my granddaughter.

Tuesday evening our writer’s guild Words For The Journey will kick off our return to meetings, we took a break during the summer. The guest speaker will be author Robert Liparulo. The meeting will be held at the Barnes & Noble Lone Tree by Park Meadows Mall. Join us if you are in the vicinity, we start at 7pm.

Wednesday is church night and also more time with my granddaughter.

My daughter Coleen will be flying into Denver from Kansas City on Thursday morning. Thursday night my other kids and families will be congregating at my not very clean house, remember I have been sick for a week, for dinner.

Friday morning Coleen and I will leave for Silverton where she will awaken on Saturday morning to begin a 48 hour running race. She has participated in many ultra runs; she completed the Leadville 100 mile run last year. She takes after her dad who has run many ultras. You can read my story about them in the Chicken Soup for the Soul Runners book that came out in July.

See what I mean about a busy week.

I am planning on September being the month I settle down and get serious about my writing again. I’ll keep you posted.

I hope you had a summer full of fun, frolic and fulfillment.

Why I Am Not Writing

As a writer I constantly read the advice that a writer should be a voracious reader, well I’ve got that down pat. The problem is I am spending all my time reading and not writing. Now how can I possibly become a good writer if I am not writing?

I go to my weekly writers guild meetings, read lots of books on the craft of writing and read novels by my favorite authors, boy aren’t I good. NOT.

Unless I sit myself in my chair and put fingers to keyboard or mechanical pencil (my favorite non-computer writing tool) to paper I am not a writer. DUH.

So, if I say I am a writer then I must write.

I sat myself down today with a couple of writing prompts and wrote away. What I wrote was entertaining for me and showed me that my mind can still go to those strange places that writer’s minds go. I enjoyed myself too.

I am happiest when I am writing because that is what God has called me to do. So I asked myself, before I took off with those writer’s prompts, why I was hesitating to write. I also asked God if I should attend the Writer’s Workshop that will be held at Glen Eyrie beginning June 6th. The atmosphere of this workshop is small and intimate with writing time included. I have hesitated because I didn’t want to hear from the presenters that I should find something else to do with my time, you know, “step away from the computer do not put your hands to the keyboard.”

The answer I received from God was not very comforting but truth telling. I love that He loves me so much that He is straight with me.

I doubt that you have this issue but for me it is PRIDE. See, if I go to the conference I will receive criticism in front of all these great authors. I want everyone to love me and everything about me including my writing. I want to hang onto my dignity.

As I clutched my chest and pulled the dagger out of my heart I saw that if I choose to go to the conference as one who knows nothing, but is willing to have a teachable heart, I can learn to become the writer that God wants me to become. Simple change of mind and the answer to whether I should go is simple, of course I should. God has gifted me for this and I must receive and use the gift.

James 1:17 in the Message Bible says: Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. THE GIFTS ARE RIVERS OF LIGHT CASCADING DOWN FROM THE FATHER OF LIGHT.

Rivers of light cascading down, those are the kinds of words that I want to put on paper or computer screen.

So, I will stop reading a novel every two days and throw myself into my passion for writing and leave the results to God. Smile.

DETOUR

Well, I’m back. Did you miss me?


Do you  have those times in life when everything demands to be done now?

Well that is how it has been for me the last three weeks.

I had to take a detour from my writing and I have missed it.

We have a rental property we had to get ready for new tenants. There was painting to do, cleaning, doors to be replaced, a light fixture to replace, new trim to put in, etc. My husband and my son put in many hours and I was working right alongside them.

I am pretty exhausted with all I have been doing and I feel like my word tank is empty.

When my body has a chance to rest this weekend I believe it will all come back as I sit myself down to create, at least I am hoping so.

In the midst of getting the house ready and some other major things happening with family, we got some really, really great news. My son and daughter-in-law will be blessing us with another grandchild. They have a little girl who is three, she is our only grandchild. We are excited for the addition that will arrive in November.

On Wednesday I heard from Chicken Soup about two stories I had submitted. One of my stories for their Running Book is accepted. The book will be out in July.

God knew I needed a boast in the midst of all the happenings in my life.

Life is good; spring is coming to Colorado Springs, sometime. It is snowing as I write this.

Photo: Diane Shaw

GRUMBLE

I hate not feeling well. It messes up your day(s), week, however long it hangs on. My husband picked up a cold somewhere; if I knew where he had gotten it I would have made him take it back for a refund.

I kept my distance from him, loaded myself up with Black elderberry and Emergen-C and stayed healthy, for about six days. Friday night it made the transition from my husband to me and tacked on a few things he didn’t have, like that ache all over feeling. I’ve had good days and bad. Since I want to be done with this quickly I’ve stayed home a lot and rested.

It is hard to get enthused about anything when your body is under the weather. I don’t feel like eating, so I don’t feel like cooking. However, I do have a husband (may I remind you that he brought the cold home) who likes to eat. Do sandwiches count for a meal? I hope so because that is what he had last night, a chicken panini sandwich and tonight he gets a hot brisket sandwich.

I read five books since Friday and have done a little writing. I finished a story to submit to Chicken Soup and sent it off and have been working on my NaNo novel this afternoon. The Kleenex box has become a part of my necessary writing tools along with my Writer’s Thesaurus.

You would think that when I can’t do much physically I would be able to get a lot of writing done. Writing isn’t physically taxing, but I found that the creativity part of me is off. The scene I wrote for my character ended up being kind of nasty, hum, I may keep it, we’ll see. Anyway, all the above is to say sorry that I haven’t been blogging.

Hope you all stay healthy. I told my husband that the next time he gets sick I am sleeping in another bed.

Image:Yahoo Images

IMPACT

Whose life are you impacting?
How much are you willing to abandon?
How much of what you do is chosen with self interest in mind?
Where do you put your energies, money and time?
What makes your gut twist into a knot and a lump form in your throat?

When are you going to do something?

There are two current movies, The Blind Side and Extraordinary Measures (debuting January 22nd) based on true stories, which have generated these questions in my mind.

I haven’t seen either of the movies, only their trailers. They are movies that bear witness to the impact we can have when we do something instead of uttering purposeless words implying that someone out there ought to be doing something.

As I look at the questions I have posed and apply them to myself they become a challenge to me as a writer. I must put aside my self interests, abandon myself to the story, put my energies, money, or lack of it, and time into writing stories that will impact lives. Anything less than that is dishonorable to God.

If my life is tangled with obligations, meetings, and activities I will miss the moments set before me, moments that may transform another person’s life and my own.

I’m at a loss to describe the ache inside me to become a person who can bring hope to another lost human being.

What do these questions mean to you?

Image: MorgueFile

TARGET

I’m fidgety, grumpy and my heart is racing. I’m depressed, dispirited and want to throw things.

“Oh no, what’s wrong,” you might be asking.

It’s simple, I haven’t been writing. I’ve been doing lots of reading: books, facebook, blogs, etc. but I haven’t put my fingers and mind to the task of writing.

How can I say that God has given me a burden to write when I don’t do it? If I was my boss I would fire me.

When I was participating in NaNoWriMo I wrote every day and I was in my sweet spot. I didn’t get a lot of things done in my home, and my relationships suffered, but I wrote. There is a balance between these two, writing and the rest of life, and I will unearth it.

I have always been one of those people who can escalate my work volume when under pressure, not the greatest thing for my health, but I can produce, and do it competently, when I am under deadlines.

Do you need incentives or are you so disciplined that distractions are not an issue? I am not at that place so I need tools to keep my focal point in front of me.

Recognizing that there are lots of publications looking for short stories, the end of the year is a good time for me to start a spreadsheet listing publications and upcoming deadlines for stories.

I can envision myself starting each week at my computer, spreadsheet open, my eyes scanning the list, seeking my goal for the week: Get a story written and submitted. “Isn’t that publication fortunate that I know when their deadlines are so that they aren’t missing my incredible story?” (Smile)

Since I am a target oriented person my trajectory towards the bull’s-eye is researching publications and getting the spreadsheet established. I already have a folder filled with web pages of publications who accept submissions, transferring the information to the spread sheet shouldn’t take much time.

Although writing a full length novel is my goal I am hoping that using the press of meeting deadlines for short stories will keep me writing.

Who knows maybe one of those short stories will be the jumping off point for a new novel.

Photo: Dreamstime

NaNoWriMo INSPIRATION

As we begin NaNoWriMo, at midnight tonight, each of us looks within ourselves for inspiration. We are not just writing to write, we are writing with a purpose.

“Winning” is not the only goal. Chariots of Fire is my inspiration for this race. There were so many incredible lines in this movie, and for your encouragement I am quoting some here.

“You came to see a race today. To see someone win. It happened to be me. But I want you to do more than just watch a race. I want you to take part in it. I want to compare faith to running in a race. It's hard. It requires concentration of will, energy of soul. You experience elation when the winner breaks the tape - especially if you've got a bet on it. But how long does that last? You go home. Maybe your dinner's burnt. Maybe you haven't got a job. So who am I to say, "Believe, have faith," in the face of life's realities? I would like to give you something more permanent, but I can only point the way. I have no formula for winning the race. Everyone runs in her own way, or his own way. And where does the power come from, to see the race to its end? From within. Jesus said, "Behold, the Kingdom of God is within you. If with all your hearts, you truly seek me, you shall ever surely find me." If you commit yourself to the love of Christ, then that is how you run a straight race.” Eric Liddell

One of my favorite lines, spoken by Eric Liddell, at a critical point in his life. “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.”

I rewrite this for all you writers who are writing for God: “I believe God made us for a purpose, but he also made us writers. And when we write we feel His pleasure.”


 May this year’s NaNo be more than a challenge to produce 50,000 words in 30 days but may you grow closer to God as He speaks through you, onto the screens of your computer, the words that would give Him pleasure, knowing that the world will someday read them.

Countdown to NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). Over 100,000 people around the world commit to spend the month of November tied to their chair, fingers on their keyboard, snacks and drinks close by, to put out the incredible number of 50,000 words, that’s 1667 words per day. Why you may ask? Because it is there; not, that is just a clique, something we don’t want in our writings.

“National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1st. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30. Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.” This means no editing as you go along; just get the words on paper or computer, depending on your material of choice.

I had a desire to write and had written some stories but a whole novel was something different. Could I do it? Could my mind come up with a story idea that could last for 50,000 words? Would I dump everything in my brain and find I could only come up with 10,000 words? NaNoWriMo 2008 provided me with the perfect set up to find out if I could do it. I didn’t finish my novel, but I did crank out over 80,000 words in 30 days. Of course an awful lot of it is pure junk, but there is some treasure in there too. During those 30 days I was in a world of my creation. It was hard to come out of that world to do laundry, cleaning, preparing meals, errands, etc, so it did not get done as frequently as usual.

The main reason I was able to stick with it and produce was because of the support that NaNoWriMo provides for those who sign up. They have a web page with constant updates, emails of encouragement from authors are sent on a regular basis, you have your own page for your personal data and a wonderful graph that shows your word count, which you enter daily. Most cities have support groups headed by Municipal Liaisons. These wonderful people set up “write-in” meetings. Imagine a room full of people and all you hear is a soft click, click all over the room, this is what a write in sounds like.

It’s 2009 and I am going back to my cave. So my friends, if you don’t see much of me or hear from me, know that I am in my room, locked away from civilization to create. If you want to know if there is anything you can do to help I have a couple of suggestions: come over and clean my house (but please do not disturb me), bring over meals for Bob and me, bring me candy (sugar free hard candies and chocolate).

I will try to post updates of my progress on my blog, so check back once November 1 arrives.

FOR WRITERS ONLY...OR NOT

B.I.C. – no I’ll not talking about the lighter, although using a BIC lighter to get a fire going under a stuck writer may not be a bad idea. BIC means, Butt in Chair, this being the best position for a writer. Discipline is what it takes to continue to crank out words. My blogsite is titled: Need More Words, because that is what a writer always needs. I will qualify that; a writer needs more of the RIGHT words. Sometimes it is words for the story and sometimes it is words coming from someone who gives them wisdom or is there to cheer them on.

Today I want to give you some Words of inspiration from other writers.

“The most important thing for a young writer to learn is that writing doesn’t come easy: it’s work. There’s no point in fooling with it unless you have to—unless you have a need to do it. A publisher friend of mine says that most writers are not real writers; they are just people who “want to have written.” Real writers are those who want to write, need to write, have to write.” Robert Penn Warren

“Ask yourself in the quietest hour of your night: must I write? Dig down into yourself for a deep answer. And if this should be in the affirmative, if you may meet this solemn question with a strong and simple, I must, then build your life according to this necessity.” Rainer Maria Rilke

“The moment comes when a character does or says something you hadn’t thought about. At this moment he’s alive and you leave it to him.” Graham Greene (I love this one)

“Writing is simply the writer and the reader on opposite ends of a pencil; they should be as close together as that.” Jay R. Gould

“Hitch your unconscious mind to your writing arm.” Dorothea Brande

“The discipline of the writer is to learn to be still and listen to what his subject has to tell him.” Rachel Carson

“Get black on white.” Guy de Maupassant

“If you wish to be a writer, write.” Epictetus

I will end with that quote.
Happy writing.

Photos: Courtesy: Morguefile

Writing

I wrote this and it seems to ramble but please stick with me.

I’m sitting outside at “Squeak”, a soda shop by our branch library. It is a beautiful day, not too hot, not too cool. It’s 11:30, lunch time and people are going into “Salsa Brava” for lunch, the smells are delicious.

My husband is at work, yeah God, after over a year of unemployment. My daughter and son-in-law were in for a brief visit on their way to a much needed month long vacation in Australia. They have just sold their business and have wonderful, but scary choices in front of them. We are dog sitting while they are on their trip. Otis is a 150 pound black Great Dane. He is a sweetie and he is getting along great with our golden retriever, Sammy.
Everything seems to be right with the world.
But…

I am having feelings of guilt as I sit here. I should be home so I can finish washing sheets and making beds, and vacuuming the double amount of dog hair accumulating along the walls and in the corners. There must be something that can be made with dog-hair. It seems such a waste, the dogs produce it, drop it as a gift to us and we sweep it up and throw it away. I sure am glad God doesn’t do that with the gifts I bring to him.

Sitting here I am doing what I love, writing. I need to have more respect for my writing, treating it as my job, setting work hours and sticking to them. Why does that seem so hard to do when I am at home? No one is there, except the dogs, so I have a quiet atmosphere and comfy furniture. Maybe it’s the laundry, cleaning, food prep, cleaning up the dog hair, etc, that is always calling to me. If I am at home shouldn’t I be taking care of these things?

I find it easier to work at locations other than my home. The rub is when I sneak off to a coffee shop to write I feel guilty. Like, why do I need to go somewhere else to write, I have a nice office at home. Ugh!

When I am writing I feel so good I don’t want to leave that spot. I am at peace in part of me and at war in another part.

Any other writers struggle with this? I am open for input, help please.

Well it is time to leave this spot, go to the grocery store, go home and make those beds, and vacuum floors. Then a little later it is off to get gas, make a couple of stops before picking up my granddaughter from day care, take her to her home until her mom or dad get home from work. When I get home it will be around 6pm, time to fix dinner and get ready for Tuesday, another full day planned, leaving the house at 6am and getting home around 6pm. Sigh.