NaNoWriMo Confession

Monday November 1, NaNoWriMo kicks off. For the third year I am setting aside the month of November to write a novel of 50,000 plus words.

The story that is rolling around in my spirit is going to be a difficult one to write because it will deal with heavy issues. After I had the idea I wanted to put it aside because I am so unqualified to write the story and it will require a lot of painful research, not painful to me, but for those I will seek out for the help I need.

I asked God if this was my idea or if it was the story He wanted me to write. He confirmed this was the direction He wanted to me go. Each time I think about this story the tears want to come.

It will be a story of healing and redemption but there will be much pain in getting to that place. Knowing this, I feel the weight of this project.

This morning while reading in the book of John so many scriptures spoke to me of God’s guidance over this story. I realize I need an extra heavy dose of inspiration and I should start each writing day seeking the Holy Spirit’s help.

I took the scriptures from John and made them into a personal prayer. I will lift this prayer to God at the start of each writing day to remind myself: I am not alone in this and I better not go off on my own tangents but have an ear to what the Holy Spirit is speaking to me. This will be the start of each of my writing days.

Father, your Word says to make use of the Light while there is still time, may I be the light bearer that you have called me to through my writing.

I thank you that the stories I write are not my own ideas, but the Holy Spirit will tell me what the Father says to tell me. I know His instructions lead to eternal life; so whatever He tells me to say, I say!

Father, I haven’t any idea where I am going with the story, so how can I know the way? I thank you that Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life and He will lead me in this. This is Your story.

“The words I say are not my own but are from my Father who lives in me. And He does His work through me.”

I pray I stay attached to You during this time of consecration to this work, for apart from You I can’t do a thing.

I remind myself Father that You chose me. You appointed me to go and produce lovely fruit always, so no matter what I ask for from the Father, using Jesus name, Father, you will give it to me.

Father, thank you the words You give me for this story will be used by the Holy Spirit to convince the world of its sin, and of the availability of God’s goodness, and of deliverance from judgment.

May love, grace and mercy ring through this work bringing healing and deliverance to the captives.

May I keep distractions to a minimum during this time but also include in my life the people You send to me.

Father, bring glory and honor to Your name.

In Jesus name I pray,
Amen.
       Scriptures: John 12:28, 12:36, 12:49 14:5, 14:10 15:5, 15:16, 15:26 16:8

Happy writing to all who are participating in NaNo 2010.
       My NaNo user name is Shortstuff if you would like to follow my progress.

Mirror, Mirror

Don’t you hate being wrong. I do.

With age comes wisdom, or at least that’s what the world says and what I hope manifests in my life someday.

God gets down and dirty with me and I cringe when he uncovers the unlovely in my life. Today He started it during Praise and Worship and went deeper during the sermon. I wish He would wait until I get home to deal with me and my issues.

He knows me too well. In church He has my undivided attention. At home there are too many distractions, including the three hour nap I took today.

I didn’t sleep much last night, maybe I should have asked God then what was up. I might have saved myself the yucks I felt during service as God unpeeled some ugly, rotten layers in my life.

Today He was knocking on the door of my heart asking me to check with Him instead of thinking I know all the answers. I need to do some back tracking and cut through the brambles that I have allowed to grow around me and find my way back to that door to let Him in.

When I know the right thing to do and don’t do it, that is rebellion. It’s not the big things, but the seemingly insignificant, that trip me up.

When He holds His mirror up for me to peer into I don’t like what I see. There is a way to clear away the unwholesome reflection, I confess my sins and ask His forgiveness. Now the reflection is covered in the blood of Christ and He no longer sees my sin.

How long will I maintain this perfected reflection, probably not for long but there is always His grace waiting to be poured onto, and into me.

Tomorrow is a new day and a fresh opportunity to get it right. I am thankful.

photo: MorgueFile

I Can See Clearly Now

This morning my world was encased in a shroud. It wasn’t caused by my fuzzy mind but a beautiful fog had descended, hiding the spectacular view that I normally enjoy each day.

The fog was keeping me from seeing what I knew was there. My mind has been in a foggy state for some time and the pity parties I kept throwing myself were getting downright disgusting.

Letting go of what I didn’t have—that sounds strange, how do you let go of something you don’t possess—and embracing, with thanksgiving, all I do have is bringing transformation into my life.

When Jesus hung on the cross and said, “It is finished,” the curtain in the temple was torn top to bottom. If man had done that he would have torn it bottom to top. God was telling us, “Come on in, I took care of the hard part. Sit down, let’s talk, let’s converse. I want to hear all about your pain, your doubts, your needs and then, if you will be still in my presence, I will speak to you.”

I am learning that God’s love fills all the longings that I have, the longings that no person can fulfill because people disappoint.

When hurt comes, and it will, I have a choice—will I allow the hurt to take root and reap a crop of bitterness or will I allow the sweet love of Jesus to wash over me and encase me in a shroud of peace. I choose the peace He extends to me continuously.

Life is so much sweeter.

                                                            View from my deck, isn't it pretty?