I haven’t blogged in a long time, depression probably was the main culprit that kept my fingers still. I guess caring for my mother 24/7 could have contributed to my lack of productivity too. The Alzheimer’s that slowly destroyed my mother’s brain took her life on September 19th.
I’ve been back home in Colorado for four and a half weeks, those weeks have been filled with grief but not just for the loss of my mother. Disappointments that have plagued me for years and years are being faced for what they are and I’m making choices. I can allow my life to be stagnant…just continue on the path that has become a rut or I can step onto fresh ground, ground that God has staked with signposts saying, “come this way.”
One of my Christmas gifts from my daughter-in-law is the book, Start by Jon Acuff. I’ve only begun reading it but already my spirit is happy. Jon tells about the five stages that will take you from Average to Awesome. They are: Learning (happens in your 20’s), Editing (your 30’s), Mastering (your 40’s), Harvesting (your 50’s), and Guiding (your 60’s and up).
According to this I should be guiding but since I’ve not put all my energies into the path I should be on I’m starting at the beginning…Learning. So even though I am in my 60’s by the calendar, because I am beginning a new course I’m back in my 20’s. Woo Who, I like that!
I’m looking to discover who I am as God sees me. I’ve learned my self-perception has been viewed through filters that are not true. I’ve pressed down so much of myself that I feel about two inches tall. Discovering that all that is wrong in my life is not all my fault has been freeing.
I’ve got a lot of work to do to unlock the prison I have put myself in from wrong beliefs but at least now I know I can have a different life. A life more pleasing to my Lord Jesus.
Writing is my path and I jump on and off it not taking it seriously as my call from God. I want that to change and the gift from my daughter-in-law is a nudge from God telling me to “Start.”
Looking at my “writing bookshelves” I searched for a book that would encourage me to begin writing again. I picked out Behind the Stories – Christian novelists Reveal the Heart in the Art of Their Writing, complied by Diane Eble. As I’m reading the stories of some of my favorite Christian authors and their ups and downs on their path to writing for God I want to put the book down and pick up my pencil.
This morning I opened my emails and at the top was a blog post from writer Jeff Goins putting out a challenge to writers to commit to writing 500 words for thirty-one days.
Okay God. I hear you, I know it’s time to get serious. There is work to be done.
I may stumble and fall back into my rut but I have a daughter-in-law who believes in me and a God who won’t give up on me.
If you’d like to take Jeff Goins challenge you can find the information on his blog page.