Light in the Darkness

Day 13 of 40 days of Lenten Posts
Financial devastation, rebellious children, a marriage in danger of disintegrating, a diagnosis of a life changing infirmity.
Darkness surrounding you, gross darkness.

Is this your life?
He despairs of escaping the darkness Job 15:22 NIV

The Message translation goes into more detail.
Every little sound terrifies them.
Just when they think they have it made, disaster strikes.
They despair of things ever getting better—
They’re on the list of people for whom things always turn out for the worst.
They wander here and there,
Never knowing where the next meal is coming from—
Every day is doomsday!
They live in constant terror,
Always with their backs up against the wall.

When it appears that darkness is total, open your eyes, observe the pin pricks of light that God has sent your way.
The phone call with encouragement when you thought no one cared.
The surprise check that comes in the mail when you needed it most.
Your child obeying you without arguing.
Your husband calling you to say he loves you.
A neighbor bringing over a meal when you are so worn out you were ready to put peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the table.

These pin pricks of light are strong against the darkness. The more you observe, the more light you see.

When you have noticed the pin pricks then lift up your eyes and observe the greater light of God. He is watching over you, never leaving or forsaking you.

You are my lamp, O LORD; the LORD turns my darkness into light. 2 Samuel 22:29 NIV

Christmas Vision

Christmas Eve, the house will be filled with people and dogs. My son and his girlfriend will drive down from Denver to spend the night and my daughter and son-in-law from Kansas will be spending several days with us. Our son and daughter in law, who live in Colorado Springs, will be coming over with our granddaughter.

I close my eyes and take in the sounds and smells. The noise of laughter and voices talking over each other is sweet to my ears. My mouth is watering from the smell of the brisket cooking merrily in the oven. I open my eyes and peer at the lighted Christmas tree, the presents pushed under it spill out into the room.

For the first time in over six years all my children will be together. My heart swells with joy. I will be like a mother hen gathering her chicks under her wings.

Do you remember being disappointed as a child on Christmas morning when the one thing you really wanted wasn’t under the tree? It didn’t matter that you got boxes and boxes of gifts; the one thing you ached for was missing.

That ache is in my heart right now. After waiting for six years to have my children together we will miss the opportunity by one day. The vision is gone like a vapor blown away on the wind. My daughter will start a job on December 23 and they will not be able to make the drive from Kansas. She and her husband closed their retail business this summer and they have been looking for jobs for months. This job is a wonderful Christmas gift for them but their gift is my bitter pill.

Only another mother can understand the dull pain in my heart and the tears that well up at this loss. Some may think I am being foolish but this is what I am feeling right now and feelings are real. There is something precious and fulfilling in having your all your children around you at the same time. It is seeing and experiencing the fruit of your labors, loving and nurturing your children into adulthood. I would give anything to make this gathering happen, but I can’t.

I know that God will bring the healing balm of Gilead to my soul and that I will be able to have a thankful heart, but allow me a few days of lamenting and please don’t judge me.

Picture: MorgueFile

Symphony of Praise

I am seated on the glider on my back deck. It is almost 7:30pm and I am enjoying the wonderful, musical evening that God has graced me with.

I hear a woodpecker playing staccato on someone’s house, I am glad it isn’t mine this time.

The birds are giving their good night chorus of praise to God, the sound of the flight of a humming bird heralds its presence.

The neighborhood dogs are adding their voices, some deep, some high, not wanting to miss out on their part in this symphony God is directing.

Children’s voices and shrieks are adding to the medley being orchestrated tonight.

Pikes Peak is before me and the mountains surrounding it are beginning to be covered in a mantel of storm clouds. Thunder is rolling overhead adding a touch of percussion.

Luke 19:40 says: I tell you that, if these should hold their peace, the stones would immediately cry out.

My whole neighborhood is giving praise to God and I join.

Lord, you are mighty, you are awesome, you are the King of Glory and I praise you for my life.

Hallelujah!