"For skillful and godly Wisdom is better than rubies or pearls,
and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared with it." Proverbs 8:11 Amplified

Monday, August 17, 2009

Trash Talk

"I am so angry that he said that to me!" I seethed.

Going to my room I stop just short of slamming the door. Tears spurt from my eyes, and my nose is running.

I reach for the phone to call a friend, but before I can lift the receiver I hear:

"Counsel with Me, and look to Me alone for your direction and your encouragement."

"God, can't I call someone?"

"No, talk to me."

"But I need someone with skin on to talk to."

"No, I said, talk to me."

"I don't want to listen to you right now."

This is a frequent conversation between God and me. From the time I became His child this is how He and I have worked things out, together.

If I pour out my anger and anguish to Him, seeking His direction and encouragement, I never have any regrets.

However, when I have gone to others, when God has said "no," there are always regrets; I wish that I could take back the spoken words.

The phone call, or the visit made to someone with skin on, in the guise of seeking advice, is really me seeking someone to dump my garbage on.

When I am honest with myself I admit I want someone else to know the "hardships I am enduring," and to hear them say to me, "you poor thing." I want to have a Pity Party and I want to invite others. The problem with a Pity Party is you aren't serving chocolates, and we all know that any successful party must have chocolates; what you are serving is stinky, smelly, rotting garbage. So now instead of one person carrying the foul odor you have two or more.

When I take my heartaches to God he takes the stink I offer Him, accompanied by my rants, raves, and tears and He dries my face, washes away the stink and covers me in the fragrance of His grace, mercy and unconditional love.

He doesn't always give me answers, I usually already know the answer, but He listens, attentively, no matter how much I rant and rave, and that is what I am most in need of, a listening ear that will not be made stinky by my waste products from a bitter and unforgiving heart.

How do I feel after my time with Him? Sometimes refreshed, sometimes convicted, but always, always loved.

Photo: Dreamstime.com


smithsk said...

This is an excellent post, Diane! I've been there many times - on both ends. You're right. As the 1950s TV show says - Father Knows Best.


Need More Words said...

Susan, love the reference to Father Knows Best. I watched that all the time. I never thought of it in conjunction with our heavenly Father.

Jim said...

I had a few things like that lately where I wanted to "bounce something" off a person, but it worked out that it was just me and God working it out. Although there are times where Godly counsel with others is appropriate and needed, there are other times when it is best that we trust in His guidance alone.


tonya said...

Great post! I think a big part of not turning to the Lord when we are angry is because we are afraid He will judge us, but He Never does. His love is amazing!

Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Need More Words said...

Jim, I agree about seeking Godly counsel, that is wisdom too.
Tonya, Sometimes I think I don't want to go to God when I am angry because He might tell me I am the one who is wrong. Who wants to hear that? :) I love that he doesn't judge but does love me enough to get me back on track.

Terri Tiffany said...

Good reminder of what our first response should be. I raise my hand that I'm guilty of not always doing that:(

Jan Parrish said...

Wow. I can totally relate.

You are really a gifted writer!